Breaking Up Is Too Hard To Do

2014

2014: Tropical Vibes Christmas in hot pink, tangerine and gold.

I’m a happily married woman — let me state that, straight up, seeing as though the title of this post clearly implies otherwise.  The Bloke and I have muddled along together for the better part of two decades, and we’re planning to do so for a lot longer yet.

But there are two other men, other than The Bloke, who have made me the happily married woman I am today. Two men who, like my dear husband, have seen me at my best and my worst.  Two men who have witnessed me lose it with my kids more times than I would like to admit, but who have also seen those same children grow to be the beautiful, self-sufficient and (mostly) polite creatures they are today. Two men who have have seen my house look like a tornado has just swept through or like a sparkling jewel where everything is clean and in its ever-so-right place.

2015

2015: Traditional Christmas in red and forest green.

And now, dear friends, (sob….choke…splutter) the time has come for these two men to leave me.

These two men — architects of my continued happiness and transformers of my humble home — are, of course, are my Cleaners.

(Apologies if my tears have actually permeated cyberspace and are pouring through whatever screen you are reading this on…)

To be fair, The Cleaners and I have broken up before. There were a few weeks here, sometimes a few months, when they were too busy, or needed a break, or whatever it was — but this time, this time, it’s for real.

(Extended wail….)

Don’t get me wrong.

2016

2016: Nordic Christmas and the first appearance of the Angel Shazza.

I know in my heart the time has come for The Cleaners to move on. Truly.

Just as they have witnessed my kids growing up (OK…and me…they had to see me doing a whole pile of that growing up business, too), I’ve seen them transform, too.

I’ve watched them grow up, get real (other) jobs, ride rocking rollercoasters of relationships, come out, get promoted, break up (luckily that one wasn’t for real), reunite, get clearer and clearer on what they want in life, get promoted again (and again), and go back to studying. I’ve seen them do difficult things, like navigate visa restrictions in the era before marriage equality, and bury parents and loved ones, and do so with grace and courage.  I’ve seen them succeed in becoming amazing, well-rounded, successful and brilliant young men.

2017

2017: Tiny “We’re Going to Fiji” tree in rainbow ombre to celebrate Marriage Equality

And I guess that’s where we come to the heart of the matter: they are not The Cleaners any more.

They’re truly awesome human beings, one of whom is even more obsessed with Christmas (specifically: themed decorating) than I am.

Seriously — we begin discussing possible colour schemes in October and send each other slow-motion video reveals of our fully decorated trees…and let’s not even get into our long-standing debate over real versus artifical…

And that is why this post is adorned with the trees of the past five Christmases in all their radiant glory, under which there has always been a gift for each of them, and there always will be.

Because they’re not The Cleaners any more. They’re part of the family.

2018

2018: Thrice-decorated (because it fell) gigantic tree in orange, turquoise, silver and lime.

Blue Jai’s Back!

img_1783Hello again!

As you might have gathered, I’ve had a brief hiatus from the blog – but for a very good reason: The Bloke and I took Marvel Girl and Miss Malaprop overseas for the first time. We had a week in California and another week in Hawaii, and are now home again, tired but happy.

Needless to say, we had an awesome time — and I might get around to writing about some of it once I wrap my head around being back in Sydney again. But knowing that this blog is where I come to make sense of it all, there will no doubt be episodes from our travels that need to be unravelled here.

img_1822You will guess from the pictures I’ve included the sorts of adventures we had overseas, but I was delighted to discover that my kids are as enamoured with the unspoiled beauty of the natural world as they are with the carefully constructed pagentry of theme parks. There were plenty of other discoveries I made too, but more of those later.

In the meantime, I just wanted to let you all know that I haven’t fallen off the face of the Earth, I’ve just been dragging my family around the other side of it.

And finally, I have to admit that despite Miss Malaprop’s issues with various aspects of The Wizard of Oz  (previously documented here), Dorothy was absolutely spot on about one thing.

There’s no place like home.

The Little Things about Home

ShowerSchool holidays are over once again, much to the disappointment and chagrin of our entire household. It seems somehow fitting that today, the day the kids have returned to school, the rain is pouring from a grey-stained sky while the wind is gusting close to gale force.

We snuck away south for the second week of the holidays, lured by the beaches of Bendalong and Mollymook and of days filled with surf and sand.  As with many of our other beachside holidays, The Bloke would have stayed away for three weeks if he could but, strangely enough, after four or five days the kids were asking when we were heading back to old Sydneytown — not because they were dissatisfied with the experience, but just because after a full and busy first term at school they have really enjoyed spending time pottering around at home.

And here’s the thing: I love being at home too.

Much as I enjoy getting away, I have been guilty of occasionally referring to vacations with children (especially children of the small variety) as being rather more like “same gig, different venue” than “relaxing, restorative break”…particularly if said getaways involve foreign languages, flat batteries on any devices possessing small screens, or more than four consecutive hours of travel. Throw in a lack of appropriate snack food (because they’ve eaten everything you packed and nearly started on the wrappers too) and sometimes it seems it would be far, far simpler to just stay home.

Because let’s face it: there are some things that make staying home worthwhile.  Really.  They’re generally only little things, but they’re often the ones that really count.

Here are a few little things that I think make staying at home utterly superb:

1. Home is where your pillow is. Some say that the best thing about coming home from holidays is sleeping in your own bed, but for me, being able to rest your head on your own pillow is just as important — if not more so. In the interests of full disclosure, I suspect the main reason that the humble pillow tops this list of little things is that I forgot to pack my mine when we went to Mollymook. I remembered to take Junior Monopoly, clothes pegs and two kinds of sunscreen, but I forgot my wonderfully comfortable pillow. Returning home, I greeted it like a long lost friend. (Yes, I may even have hugged it.) A good pillow is life-affirming.  

2. Home is where the second drawer in the kitchen contains everything you need. Ah…the much maligned second drawer. Every home has one, but it is not until you’re on vacation that you suddenly (and sometimes desperately, when children are involved) need something from that crazy, cluttered drawer.  Cling wrap, for example, or a knife that is actually capable of cutting. Band aids, rubber bands, a piece of string, blu tak, salad servers, a screwdriver — I defy you to think of a single holiday with kids when for some bizarre reason or another, you didn’t need something from the second drawer of your kitchen at home.

3. Home is where the chargers are. The chargers? Yes, the chargers…all the chargers. The phone charger, the regular camera charger, the video camera charger, the laptop charger, the iPod, iPad and Leap-pad chargers, the Kindle charger, even the bluetooth speaker charger.  In this dizzying digital age, attempting a vacation without packing a vicious snarl of electrical cables is virtually impossible, and heaven help you if you leave one behind — unless, of course, you want to leave them at home and unplug (gasp!) as well as unwind?! The fact that said chargers occupy one person’s quota of carry-on luggage is beside the point…at least at home, you know where they all are.  Either that, or you have enough other cables and bits on hand to Macgyver up something that connects to a standard power point…

4. Home is where you fully understand how the shower works. This brilliant thought is not actually one of mine (you can find more like it here), but the more I think about it the more I know it to be true. At home, you know exactly where to position the shower head or the flick mixer, or how many times to turn the taps, or whatever it is that you do in your shower, to make it just how you like it. Because God knows there aren’t many finer things on this green earth than a hot shower.

5. Home is where you know the exact location of the chocolate stash. Quite honestly, I don’t think this point requires any further elaboration. Besides, I have no wish to inadvertently set off The Bloke’s already highly tuned chocolate sensor to the presence of any confectionary that may or may not be present in our home.

So there you have it: five little things that make staying at home simply wonderful, and wonderfully simple.

Feel free to leave a comment if I’ve left your favourite out!

Blue Jai